


For Want of a Third Year

by RelenaDuo



Series: Yo dawg [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Gen, Harry Potter Has a Twin, Harry Potter is a Horcrux, Humor, I'm just playing around with tropes, NaNoWriMo, NaNoWriMo 2020, No beta we die like mne, Obscurial Harry Potter, Obscurials (Harry Potter), Obscurus (Harry Potter), Slytherin Harry Potter, The Potters Live, Trope Subversion/Inversion, Tropes, Wrong Boy-Who-Lived (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27714962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RelenaDuo/pseuds/RelenaDuo
Summary: Follow Harry in his third year as he learns about Dementors and the Dementors regrettably learn about him in turn too. Professor Snape isn't amused, nor is anybody else.Oh, and some guy named Sirius Black some prison or something.
Relationships: almost there - Relationship
Series: Yo dawg [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020582
Comments: 32
Kudos: 263





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First of all I'd like to say that today I completed the NaNoWriMo Challenge and reached 50k on this story! :D  
> Hope you enjoy this start of the third year, I really feel that its better than the second year.

Harry had barely been a week back at the Potter residence when Jimmy interrupted him while he was looking into viable investments, Voldemort guiding him through his best options.

“Harry, can we talk for a bit?”, asked Jimmy as he fidgeted outside Harry’s room.

“Sure”, Harry looked up from where he was using his Muggle calculator to work out his plans, “Take a seat”, he motioned to his bed.

Jimmy went to sit and was silent.

Figuring Jimmy would talk when he was ready Harry went back to looking at his various charts and made the occasional note when he thought about something.

“What do you think about Parselmouths?”, asked Jimmy after a while.

“Hm? Oh, Professor Lockhart is great, so I say it’s all hogwash that they’re evil and whatnot”, said Harry, looking up to see Jimmy looking nervous.

“You really believe that?”

“Absolutely Jimmy, why are asking?”

Jimmy bit his bottom lip, “Cause I’m a Parselmouth.”

Harry gaped in shock and then smiled brightly, “Me too!”

Jimmy looked up in surprise, “What? Really?”

“Yup!”, said Harry and pictured a snake in his mind.

 **“We can talk in Parseltongue if you want to?”** , Harry proposed.

Jimmy looked confused for a second, “That was Parseltongue right? I can never figure out if I’m talking it or not. I always have problems differentiating if it’s a person talking to me or a snake.”

“Then we should probably not talk in it, cause I have the same problem”, Harry confessed.

“I’m glad I’m not the only one”, smiled Jimmy.

Harry smiled back and quickly went to his bookcase, “Here”, he handed Jimmy a copy of Practicing Parseltongue, “You can read this and claim you learned by reading it. Professor Lockhart would love to put you as his star pupil. He might even give you a cut!”

Jimmy gave a forced smile, “Sure.”

“You need to think about your future Jimmy”, Harry said and sat back at his desk, “We both need to plan it out so it works out the best for us. Investment is a safe move at this age. Also just about the only thing we can do. Though its not easy, but the challenge is fun”, Harry mused and looked at the statistics for the market in woolly socks.

“Sure Harry”, said Jimmy as he quickly fled Harry’s room.

‘Don’t listen to him, we have an excellent business plan in our hands’, said Voldemort.

Spot gave a grumbling huff that Harry interpreted as agreement.

‘With this we’ll finally be able to take a step closer to help all the innocent creatures under oppression.’

Voldemort snorted, ‘If you think this will be all it takes then you are about to be sorely disappointed.’

Harry frowned, but didn’t say anything. It did leave him thinking however. Maybe, just maybe he should listen to his best friend.

A few days later, after owling Gringotts for several days, Harry made his way down to the living room where Lily was nursing her nth martini of the day.

“Can you sign here, real quickly?”, asked Harry as he put a quill in her hands and set her hand on the appropriate place on the document.

“Sure hun’”, slurred Lily and quickly signed.

“Thanks!”, said Harry and quickly hurried back to his room to owl the document to Gringotts that would enable him to create his own banking account.

By the time Harry and Jimmy’s birthday arrives Harry has set up most of his investments and is receiving daily owls from Gringotts detailing the state of these.

But Harry wasn’t thinking about any of that while he sat and waited in front of the fireplace. Draco and Blaise were supposed to come together to his birthday party. They’d said they would. James had sworn several times that he’d actually invited them this time.

Harry only had to have patience. Any moment now they would come through-

The fireplace blazed green and Draco and Blaise tumbled out.

“Guys!”, Harry cheered and embraced them both.

“Hey! We made it Draco. We’re now in Gryffindor territory”, Blaise chuckled.

“Haha”, said Ron as he came over to greet them, “Come on, Fred and George are trying to get Jimmy over his fear of brooms and I don’t want to miss him getting even more traumatized than he already is.”

“What? Why isn’t anybody stopping them?”, asked Harry, let go of his friends and ran for the backyards where Fred was trying to coax Jimmy into sharing a broom ride with him.

“If I hold him he can’t possibly fall off!”, insisted Fred after they’d dragged Jimmy away.

By afternoon all of Harry and Jimmy’s Hogwarts friends were at the backyard having cake and enjoying themselves.

Harry was laughing so hard at the Weasley twins’ antics as they described their trip to Egypt that he didn’t even notice when he made several of the things float on the table until Draco ‘accidentally’ spilled pumpkin juice on him.

This repeated itself two more times throughout the party that by the time everybody left Harry smelled quite strongly of pumpkin juice and probably one or more of his non-Slytherin friends had figured out his secret. Yet, somehow, Harry couldn’t bring himself to care.

The next morning while Harry was having his breakfast an owl flew in and dropped a letter on James’ plate.

“Whose are you, bud?”, asked James as he opened the letter. He gasped seconds later.

“MERLIN!”

“What’s it hun’?”, asked Lily as she was looking at her martini.

“Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban!”, shouted James in fear.

Lily was startled so badly she almost dropped her martini, “What?! OH NO!”

Harry looked at Jimmy for clarification, but his twin brother was trembling too badly to make eye contact.

“The Aurors should be here soon honey, just stay calm! EVERYBODY STAY CALM! THERE’S NO POINT IN PANICKING!!!”, screeched James as he ran from the kitchen to the living room and then back, “WE NEED TO STAY TOGETHER!”

They were all herded into the living room where James held his wand at the front door as he trembled in fear.

Seconds later the Aurors arrived and James let them in so they could put up a perimeter and search the area.

“It’s all gonna be okay Lily”, James mumbled as he took a martini glass, cast Engorgio on it, filled it with liquor and handed it to Lily.

“I heard what happened!”, said Remus as ran into the home.

“Remus!”, shouted James as he went to hug Remus, “Remus I can’t go through this again!”

“Don’t worry James”, Remus soothed.

“I’ll go grey!”, wailed James.

“Don’t worry James, I’m here for you”, said Remus.

“And so Am I”, said Dumbledore as he suddenly stepped into the house as well.

“Albus!”, chorused Remus and James and went to talk with the old wizard.

Harry went to the kitchen to fill himself a bowl of peanuts and when he got back to the living room the Minister of Magic himself was shaking hands with James.

“We are putting all our best men on this! We’ll have this madman before the day is over, mark my word!”

James sniffled, “Thank you Minister Fudge.”

Within the hour the house was flooded with owls bearing well-wishes from just about everybody in Wizarding Britain.

Harry was still reading the letter he got from Professor Snape telling him in no uncertain terms that if he went after Black he’d regret it for the rest of his life when Voldemort spoke up for the first time since everything started.

‘You know Black wasn’t even one of my Death Eaters.’

Harry paused in his motion to grab more peanuts while he was reading.

‘What do you mean he wasn’t a Death Eater? How else could he have betrayed the Potters?’

‘He never did, funny, isn’t it?’

Harry frowned, ‘But if it wasn’t him, who did?’

‘Some snivelly guy named Pettigrew. Had my mark and everything.’

Harry remembered a guy named Pettigrew being mentioned before. Something about Black murdering him.

“Jimmy”, he poked his brother who had barely moved since they got dragged to the living room, “Who’s Pettigrew?”

“Peter Pettigrew was one of our friends back at Hogwarts”, answered Remus, having apparently overheard Harry.

“But wasn’t he murdered?”

Remus sighed and sat at Harry’s side, “Yes. You see, Lily made Sirius secret keeper and then when Sirius gave away the secret Peter was immediately at Godric’s Hollow since he’d been the witness when Lily did the spell. So Peter knew what had happened and confronted Sirius, but Sirius was-mad. He’d completely lost his mind by that point. Nothing was left of the friend we’d had at Hogwarts. He’d turned his back against us, taken He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s side and then he murdered Peter.”

“They only ever found a finger that was left of him”, wailed James.

“James I don’t thi-“, began Remus, but James went on.

“He killed so many Muggles too! All blown to bits!”

Jimmy had started to rock himself at some point during James’ rant.

“For Merlin’s sake James!”, hissed Remus and dragged James away.

‘Pity he wasn’t on our side. Sounds like he could have been an excellent asset.’

“Hmm”, hummed Harry as he patted Jimmy’s back to try calm him down.

That night they all slept in the living room. And the next. And the one after that one too. And the one after that.

For two whole weeks they slept in the living room and were barely allowed anywhere else. Harry and Jimmy were also taught spells to cast on their mail to check for curses or things like that.

When they hit the two week mark things start to change for the better. The vigilance was still strict around the house, but visitors were finally allowed and the Aurors finally convinced James to let his family go back upstairs to sleep.

From there a steady stream of Wizards that were checked for Polyjuice come to visit and each and every one of them stopped by Harry and Jimmy to tell them that they’d protect them no matter what.

A week of this was enough to make Harry order another knife from Nick.

All their orders from Diagon Alley had to be done from mail and when they finally departed for the Hogwarts Express the Aurors were all around the Platform until both Harry and Jimmy were in a shared compartment.

Harry stayed where he was till Seamus and Dean joined Jimmy before he left to join up with his Slytherin friends.

“We’ll protect you Jimmy! Come life or death!”, shouted Seamus as soon as he saw Jimmy.

Jimmy sat trembling in his seat so badly anybody would have thought he’d already seen Black come at him with a knife or something.

“Harry you’re okay!”, Draco rushed to give him a hug as soon as Harry stepped into the compartment.

‘This is why you’re my favourite’, thought Harry.

Voldemort made retching sounds and Spot gave a disgusted huff.

Most of Harry’s friends and acquaintances went by Harry’s compartment during the ride to ask how he was doing and how the manhunt for Black was doing.

All in all it was very boring until the train suddenly stopped and the lights went out.

‘Shit, he’s here!’, shouted Voldemort and Spot started to growl, ready for a fight.

‘No! Down you little beast, down!’, hissed Voldemort as Harry was too preoccupied with finding where his knife was in his pocket.

Then the compartment door opened and some truly ugly creature stood there.

‘THE FUCK IS THAT?!’, Harry demanded Voldemort.

‘It’s a Dementor! They’re subservient to the Ministry, they’re not supposed to harm you, but prepare to cast Patronus.’

‘Wait, subservient how? Like the elves?!’

‘Uh, I think so? Harry look out its coming near us! Cast Patronus!’

Instead Harry got up and shouted, “Excuse me! Do you know about your rights?”

‘HARRY NO!’

The Dementor didn’t seem too interested in listening to Harry and kept advancing.

“All creatures are deserving of a life of freedom! No life form is more deserving than another to live in freedom!”

‘HARRY!’

Spot howled within Harry.

The Dementor was officially staring at Harry now.

“You have rights! You and all of your people deserve to live in freedom and peace without having to serve Wizards!”

“EXPECTUM PATRONUM!”, somebody shouted and the Dementor fled.

“NO! Come back!”, Harry rushed to the door and saw Remus of all people chasing away the Dementor.

“We were making a connection!”, shouted Harry and slid down to the floor, “We were about to break down the walls imposed by society”, he moaned.

“WHAT IN MERLIN’S FUCKING SOGGY BALLS HARRY?!”, shouted Draco.

Turned out nobody shared Harry’s believe that Dementors should have more rights. All his friends were pretty pissed at him and when Remus came back to their compartment he also told Harry off.

As soon as they arrived at Hogwarts Severus was waiting for him at the castle doors and immediately gave him detention. Apparently news had travelled fast.

Harry’s only consolation during his first day of classes was that he was going to take one of his new classes, Arithmancy, which Voldemort had insisted he should take. His other two electives were Study of Ancient Runes and Care of Magical Creatures, the last one being the only one he didn’t share with Jimmy, who had chosen Divination for his third elective.

That evening for his first night of detention Professor Snape made him scrub cauldrons, but promised they would go back to their regular lessons soon enough.

“After all, I can’t trust you to handle this whole situation with Black in any way that even remotely resembles normalcy. Your run-in with the Dementor already proves as much”, Professor Snape explained.

During Harry’s first class of Care of Magical Creatures they were all led to a small clearing close to the Exceedingly Forbidden Forest, much to everybody’s discomfort.

“Don’ worry, she knows not ter come cause trouble fer us”, said Hagrid when they all heard the roaring in the Forest.

“She?”, Harry perked up.

“Tha’s righ’, figured it out this summer. Hope yeh’re fine with renamin’ her to Norberta.”

“It fits her perfectly”, said Harry happily.

“We could always name her Dragony McDra-ACK!”

“Harry get offa ‘im!”, shouted Hagrid as he ran over and physically separated Harry from Zacharias Smith.

Later that day Harry had his first lesson with Remus as his teacher in Defence Against the Dark Arts.

“Professor Lupin!”, Harry called as soon as the class started, raising his arm as high as he could.

“Yes Harry?”, said Remus with a smile.

“I wanted to ask about the rights Dementors have, Sir”, said Harry and the whole class moaned.

“Dementors work in junction with Ministry to work at Azkaban-“

“Yes, sorry to interrupt you Sir, but are they paid? Are they allowed leave from Azkaban if they so wish to? What happens to them if one of them disobeys? Are they tortured? What division of the Ministry looks after the care of Dementors? What do they feed on besides human emotion? Is any emotion good enough or does it specifically have to be despair? Can they digest any other type of food? Like vegetables? Has anybody ever tried to feed them anything besides emotions? Has anybody tried to give them anything at all? Who even clothes them? Or do they form their own clothes?”

“Um”, said Remus.

“I have a list somewhere, let me see – here!”, Harry held up a two feet long parchment, “Don’t worry, I’m sure we can work our way through this in no time. Now where was I – ah! On the subject of clothes, do Dementors need shoes? Are their feet cold? Would they be adverse to the idea of a giant crate of wool socks delivered to them with the arrangement that they wear them so that the company logo is visible?”

At the other side of the classroom Ron arranged his books into a makeshift pillow and went to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Draco Malfoy hated Luna Lovegood more than he hated any other living being in the whole of existence.

Harry had taken to bothering the Dementors at the edge of the school grounds a few days prior and at first Draco had been horrified and about to run to tell Severus, but then the little bitch had _cheered Harry on_.

And, well. Draco was so furious with her encouraging Harry’s recklessness that he started to scream at her and then she’d screamed back and at the end Harry hadn’t gone anywhere because he was too busy separating the two of them. Small Mercies, Draco supposed.

But then it had happened again and this time Draco knew to control himself and marched directly to the staff room and tattled on both Harry _and Lovegood_. They both got detention. Separate detentions, which was even better.

It was now several days later and even though Draco new for a fact that Harry had gone back to chasing Dementors he wasn’t about to tattle on him yet, not until he could incriminate Lovegood again. Besides, Draco strongly suspected that there was nothing the Dementors could really do to Harry. Harry hadn’t even looked phased by them on the Express and Draco knew for a fact Harry was the strongest Wizard at Hogwarts, maybe even in existence.

It was Draco’s job to remain loyal to him, till the bitter end.

“This isn’t working”, huffed Harry and threw down his notes on his. It was night and they were all preparing to sleep. Draco recognized the notes to be from Harry’s multiple freedom speeches.

“Need help with you vocabulary?”, Draco offered, even though Harry had an impeccable vocabulary – when he wished to use it, which wasn’t as often as Draco liked.

“I mean the methods I’m using!”, ranted Harry as he paced the small room they were forced to share.

“I’ve been giving speeches upon speeches and protesting and everything I could think of to solve the problems of the Wizarding World peacefully, but you’ve seen how dismissive everybody has been! You’ve all seen how I’ve been ignored and belittled by the grownups, the so called leaders of our world. Well, I say I’m done with it. I’m done with them!”

Draco blinked as he stared at Harry, not sure if Harry was saying what Draco thought he was saying.

“I’m going to take it over. I’ll become the Overlord and then nobody will be able to ignore me. I’ll rule the world and then all magical creatures will finally have the freedom they deserve!”, proclaimed Harry to the room at large.

All the boys stood frozen as they watched Harry.

Oh Merlin, Harry was absolutely saying what Draco thought he was saying.

Harry ranted for another hour at least about all the things he’d do once he was Overlord of the world – world, because his plans were to _start_ with Britain and then move on to the rest of the world.

Draco didn’t even want to contemplate if he’d just been witness to the birth of the next Dark Lord. His father had told him about his grandfather witnessing the beginnings of the Dark Lord himself and Draco really wasn’t sure if he was ready to fall into his grandfather’s footsteps in this regard quite yet.

The very next morning Draco barged into Severus’ office and upon finding it empty went to knock on his private quarters’ door.

Severus opened the door and sighed upon seeing him, “What has he done now?”

“He ranted for over an hour last night about he’s going to become the next Overlord of the world.”

“He _what_?”, Severus hissed, “That child! Each time I feel I make progress with him!”

What progress he saw in Harry Draco didn’t know, he’d personally never seen much of this, but he supposed Severus would know best.

“I’ll talk to him as soon as I can. Thank you for reporting this Draco”, his godfather nodded at him and Draco took his leave.

* * *

“Let me back! Let me go back! We were understanding each other on a spiritual level!”, shouted Harry as he was dragged away from the Quidditch Pitch currently swarmed by Dementors.

“You won’t have any spirit by the time they’re done with you!”, shouted Draco. He’d barely been as scared as he’d just been in his life.

Harry had gone up high in search of the Snitch and somehow the Dementors took this as invitation to swarm the whole stadium and terrorize everybody.

To get Harry away the Slytherin team had come together to shove him off his broom and fly away with him as fast as they could. Draco didn’t even know what had happened with Harry’s broom. Dementors had probably eaten it for all he knew.

They eventually managed to drag Harry to the castle, where they were waiting for the teachers to call the game results.

“Well I guess Jimmy will be glad now that he didn’t go”, said one of the Weasley twins as the Gryffindor team also settled down to wait for the game results.

Draco snorted. Everybody had hoped that this game would relief some of the tensions that were still running high from Halloween when Sirius Black had tried to break into the Gryffindor Tower. Jimmy was taking it especially bad and even though Harry claimed that he wasn’t worried since that was a trait unbecoming of the future Overlord, Draco had still seen him writing long letters for a Muggle friend called Nick that Draco had never heard him mention before. It just seemed fishy to Draco.

They ended up waiting for over an hour until the teachers came back. The Quidditch match was called as inconclusive and that it would played again within a week. Several members of the Gryffindor team groaned as their Captain cheered and began making plans out loud for more training. Ginny Weasley, who had debuted as their new Seeker was looking like she was ready to run away.

“That’s it lads, let’s get back to the common room and plan our next step”, said Marcus and began herding them all away from the castle doors.

“Hey, did anybody grab my broom?”, Harry wondered out loud.

They were only able to find the broom the next day, after the Whomping Willow decimated it to pieces.

“Wait, wait, you mean to tell me there’s a tree capable of basically murdering people if it so wished on the school grounds?”, Harry asked Draco when presented with what was left of his Nimbus 2000.

“Uh, yeah?”, Draco was almost afraid of where this would lead.

“And nobody told me?!”, Harry dropped his broom pieces on the floor, “I need to go there right this instant!”

Draco went along since he knew it was better if he tagged along, that way he could better help stop Harry whenever he came up with a new hare-brained idea.

Of course the tree didn’t appreciate this and tried to murder Harry as soon as he went close, which Harry only took as a challenge and took to accosting Professor Sprout at every given opportunity about the care of the demon tree.

All the care for the tree and zero care for anything else led to Harry playing the Gryffindor vs. Slytherin match on an old Shooting Star that they found in the Quidditch cupboards. Also, since Harry was still obsessed with the Dementors he tended to fly high during most of the game and noticed too late when Ginny spotted the Snitch and wasn’t able to beat her to it.

In public they blamed it all on Harry’s terrible broom, but in private Harry got lectured several times by the Quidditch team and Severus, who also noticed what Harry had been trying to do during the game.

“You just need to learn to control yourself”, Theo told Harry as they all made their way to their class of Defense.

“Easy for you to say. My best chance with trying to communicate with the Dementors was during that game, but the whole team dragged me away”, grumbled Harry.

“Well I’m sorry there are people that care for your continued survival”, sneered Pansy.

“I would have been fine!”, Harry insisted.

“That doesn’t mean we’ll stop worrying you git!”, said an exasperated Blaise.

“At this rate all we can do is be happy he hasn’t gone after Black himself”, mused Draco, who was honestly surprised this wasn’t the case.

Harry made a face, “I don’t care about Black. At most I’m upset that because of his fault I won’t be able to go to Hogsmeade with you guys.”

“Please don’t try to sneak into Hogsmeade, by the way”, said Blaise, “With your luck Black will just be sitting at the Three Broomsticks, ready to attack you as soon as he sees you.”

Harry scoffed.

“I’ll bring you Butterbeer if you promise not to sneak into Hogsmeade”, Draco offered.

Harry gave him a considering look, “Add a few crumpets to that and you’ll have a deal.”

“Deal”, said Draco and held out his hand to shake Harry’s.

As soon as they arrived at the classroom Lupin was waiting for all of them at the classroom door.

“Is that all of you? Good, I have a surprise for you today”, he said and guided them to the castle dungeons where a room waited for them with a rattling armoire that was held closed with chains.

Harry blinked owlishly when he saw this, “What is-a Boggart?”

“Exactly! Five points to Slytherin”, said Lupin happily and proceeded to explain to them about Boggarts and how to counter them.

“Now, I want you to make a line and each take a turn at the Bogga-“

“NO!”, shouted Harry, sounding distressed, “That poor Boggart wasn’t bothering anybody! Who are we to come terrorize that poor creature in the home it has made for himself?”

Draco facepalmed and went to sit down hard on one of the crates lying about in the decrepit room.

“Harry this is a very important lesson that all Witches and Wizards ought to learn”, Lupin tried to reason with Harry, but apparently he didn’t know him at all. If he did he would know that there was no reasoning with Harry.

“So what? We learn at the expense of an innocent creature? How cruel can you be?!”

“Think I can take a kip on the floor while they talk it out?”, Draco heard Ron ask Hermione, who in turn swatted his arm.

They ended up debating it for quite a while, with Lupin getting increasingly agitated and Harry insisted nonstop that the Boggart was innocent and didn’t deserve this treatment. At the end Lupin allowed Harry to leave the room if he didn’t want to participate and made the rest of them go through his with his class plans.

As soon as Draco joined Harry to walk to their joined Study of Ancient Runes class he got a stink eye, probably for not also walking out of the class with Harry.

“When I’m Overlord these type of things will be outlawed”, said Harry.

“Well, at least you didn’t give Lupin your Overlord spiel, he’d probably have something to say to that”, mused Draco.

“He’d also probably tell Professor Snape and I really don’t want him on my case again this soon”, said Harry with a wince.

“You really shouldn’t go about advertising your plans to become Overlord”, Draco pointed out.

“It is better if everybody just makes their piece with it”, huffed Harry.

Draco just shook his head.

* * *

Harry trudged down to his dorm room as soon as he got back to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays. These vacations had been anything but relaxing. James had been practically vibrating out of his skin with anxiety, Lily was even more drunk than usual and Jimmy was too nervous to be of much conversation.

‘Home at last’, said Voldemort as soon as Harry stepped into his dorm room.

“Home at last”, Harry echoed out loud since there was nobody there to hear him.

He came up to his bed and then suddenly stopped.

There was a wrapped up broom resting on his bed.

‘SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT’, was all Harry could think.

‘Vol, what do I do?!’, he asked in a panic and then he heard the voices of his dorm mates getting closer.

“Shit!”, he hissed and quickly weaved his magic around him. The broom floated to the bed next to Harry’s and a little card full of hearts appeared next to it saying ‘Happy Christmas’.

Just before the door opened Harry dove for his bed and made as if he was casually lying down.

“Hey, what’s this?”, asked Draco as he came to inspect the package – and Merlin’s fucking pants Harry had forgotten in his panic that the bed next to his belonged to Draco.

“OH MERLIN IT’S A FIREBOLT!”, shrieked Draco as he held up the broom with reverence.

“Wow, that’s great”, said Harry with a forced expression of shock.

“THEO,BLAISE, LOOK! YOU TOO GREG AND VINCE!! IT’S A GENUINE FIREBOLT!!”

“Who would give you a Firebolt”, said Theo, making a face as if he didn’t think anybody would send Draco a Firebolt.

“I GOT A FIREBOLT!”, shrieked Draco as he tore out of their dorm room and went running to the common room where his screams could still be heard.

“Aaand we lost him”, said Blaise with a sad shake of his head.

“I’ve never seen anybody react like that over a broom”, said Theo, “Like a true madman. Think its those Black genes finally shining through?”

‘Could be that the broom was cured’, mused Voldemort and Harry felt his blood go cold.

‘ _What_?’

‘Yeah, well, suspicious package lying on your bed when you have a known mass murderer on your and your family’s tail. I mean, I _was_ going to suggest you burn it, but-‘, Voldemort gave off a motion that Harry identified as a shrug.

‘Merlin what have I done?!’, Harry thought. This was the dead Merfolk situation all over again.

The next morning Harry was up before anybody else in his House to race to Professor Snape’s private quarters.

Professor Snape gave him a raised eyebrow when he opened his door, “What are you doing here at this hour of the day Potter? What have you done now?”

“Nothing Sir, but I’m very worried about Draco”, Harry explained, “He found a new Firebolt lying on his bed last night and went absolutely crazy about it. He’s even slept with it during the night, like a teddy bear. Thing is, nobody knows where it came from. There was only a note that said ‘Happy Christmas’ attached to it.”

Professor Snape narrowed his eyes at Harry.

Harry kept a steadfast stare on his Professor’s nose.

Professor Snape kept staring.

Harry could start feeling sweat beat on his forehead when Professor Snape gave a sigh and said, “Fine. I’ll go have a look at this broom.”

Harry felt a weight lifting from him, “Thanks Professor!”, he said in the most heartfelt way he could muster.

“Yes, yes”, his teacher grumbled and stalked ahead of Harry in the direction of the Slytherin entrance.

Upon seeing Draco’s deep infatuation with the Firebolt and judging its origins to be suspicious at best Professor Snape took away Draco’s broom to examine it further.

Draco was on the verge of sobbing for all of five seconds before he looked at Harry and snarled at him in anger.

“This is your fault! Why’d you have to go ruin this for me?!”, and then he truly did run away to go sob in private.

“This is the top notch drama I’m here for”, commented Blaise as he watched the whole ordeal while he snacked on dried fruits.

Draco ignored Harry for the next couple days, so Harry took to spend some time with his brother in the meantime.

“I get what you’re feeling Harry”, said Hermione one day as they all sat in the library. Hermione was looking more haggard than usual and had a truly obscene amount of books surrounding her. She was also at least doing homework for two different classes as she talked with Harry.

“I’ve had this problem with Crookshanks trying to eat Ron’s rat, so now he’s mad at me for my cat doing what cats do!”, she huffed in anger and looked at Harry with half-deranged eyes, deep bags under her eyes, “Is any of that my fault Harry? This is how nature works! How life is! I can’t help that Ron’s been living in la-la land his whole life!”

“Er”, said Harry. Jimmy scooted away from Hermione and exchanged a nervous look with Seamus. Dean looked resigned.

He later ran into Ron, who asked him if it was true that he’d made Draco lose his broom.

“I mean, it’s good for us, you know. But what a git move Harry, what a scumbag, lowlife-“

“Okay, bye”, said Harry and walked away.

“But still, thanks Harry!”, Ron shouted after him.

Harry went to the school grounds and sat on a rock near Hagrid’s hut. Hagrid was currently giving his classes to a group of fifth years, which if Harry’s memory served him right meant that he would be showing them how burb his Blast-Ended Skrewts. They truly were magnificent creature, but needed a lot of work, which meant Hagrid was almost constantly taking some class to take of them. This all prevented Harry from visiting Norberta as often as he wished he could.

Still moping Harry barely even noticed a black stray dog come up to him until it was sniffing at Harry’s hand.

“Hey boy”, said Harry and patted its head.

Spot growled in the back of Harry’s consciousness.

‘Yeah, he’s a good boy, just like you are buddy’, thought Harry.

“What you doing here? You alone?”, Harry scratched it behind its ears and noticed there was no collar.

“Poor you, want some food?”, Harry got up as the dog gave a huffed bark.

“Come, Hagrid won’t mind if I give you some of Fang’s food.”

After feeding the dog Harry took him to the Slytherin common room where he was cooed over by everybody and given a spot to lie in front of the fireplace.

A week later Draco got his broom back with a promise that it wasn’t full of any sort of harmful spells. Draco slowly started to talk to Harry again, but he mostly just clung to his broom.

‘Just marry your broom already Malfoy!’, jeered Voldemort as Harry watched his friend carry the broom with him absolutely everywhere. Several of the teachers were already prohibiting him from bringing it into his class. This was the closest Draco got to wanting to complain to his father of something in a long time. He’d mostly stopped in his first year after Harry had laughed one too many times at him, but it all was coming undone now.

“You won’t ever abandon me over a broom, would you?”, Harry asked the dog he’d picked up previously and who now permanently resided in the Slytherin common room.

The dog gave him a soulful look with his dark eyes and huffed.

“You’re my one true friend”, lamented Harry.

‘What am I? Chopped liver?’

“My second true friend”, amended Harry. The dog gave him a confused look.

Spot growled.

“My third true friend.”

“Harry, are you okay?”, asked Greg as he eyed the dog giving Harry an even more confused look.

Merlin, Harry must be truly going crazy cause he swore the dog was looked at him with worry.

“You know what, I’m going to get Luna. We’ll go poke at some Dementor. See ya Greg.”

‘Harry, no.’

“Harry, no”, said Greg, “Professor Snape is gonna get mad at you again.”

“Harry yes”, said Harry and left.

Harry was still serving his second week of detention with Professor Snape from the fall out of accidentally poking a Dementor in it’s eye – _it was an accident, he swore_ – when they all got woken up in the middle of the night for a head count.

“Wha’samatteh”, slurred Harry as he was hurried to the common room.

“Black broke in again”, said Marcus.

“What?”, Harry woke up immediately.

Marcus shrugged, “Don’t know much else. Heard it from one of the prefects.”

“He didn’ break in here, we should all go back sleep”, said Draco, half slurring his words as he hugged his broom close to his chest.

“Hey, has anyone seen Shaggy?”, asked Pansy.

They all looked around for the stray dog Harry had brought in, but couldn’t find him.

“Oh, I hope he’s okay”, said Millicent as she wrung her hands.

At the end they were all accounted for and allowed to go back to sleep. Nobody was really able to sleep after all the excitement and most of everybody was out early to hear the gossip.

Turned out Black had almost killed Ron.

“But the thing is, and get this cause its golden, is that Ron eats at his bed. Literally every day he’ll bring some stuff to eat, throw his trash at the side of the bed for the elves to clean. It’s a right pigsty. Anyways, so we all woke up from Ron screaming when he saw Black standing over him with a knife, but the scream startled Black as well and then he stepped on a banana peel that was on the floor by Ron’s bed. He shouted ‘bloody hell!’ as he went down and by accident grabbed Scabbers, Ron’s pet rat, and then made a run for”, explained Seamus to the crowd that was gathering to listen.

“You can’t be serious”, said Draco in disbelieve, still holding his Firebolt.

“It’s true”, said a despondent Ron, “I guess it was Scabbers’ fate to die this year. First it was that terrible can and at the end it was Black”, he sniffed, “He didn’t deserve to go like this.”

Neville patted him on the back, “He’s at a better place now Ron.”

“Where’s Jimmy?”, asked Harry.

“He’s locked himself into the bathroom since last night. Nothing we say or do can get him out. Dean’s at the bathroom door now trying”, explained Seamus.

Harry is still wondering how he can help his brother when a loud alarm sounded through the whole school.

“What now?”, moaned Theo.

“Did he break in again? What kind of security does this school have? What are the Dementors for then?”, complained Draco when their prefects came running to urge them back to the common room.

Not even everybody had left to have breakfast so extra food was sent to their common room as they all sat down to wait.

“Hey, Gemma, what’s going on?”, asked Blaise when she came back with the last stragglers and officially closed off the Slytherin common room.

“They found a body”, she said grimly.

Everybody gasped.

‘Well, guess he wasn’t that harmless as I thought’, mused Voldemort.

After the shock wore off the rumours started to spread around, but since barely anything was known they ran out of things to add fairly quickly. The wait was long and boring.

After about five hours of no news and several people making inquiries about lunch Professor Snape came into the common room. He looked pale and anxious as he called for Harry to come with him and ignored all the questions that everybody was asking.

Harry gave his card of Exploding Snap to Vince and followed him.

Professor Snape led Harry to Dumbledore’s office.

Upon entering the first thing Harry saw was that the office was swarming in Aurors. He also saw Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, Remus, a pale Jimmy, a sobbing James and finally Sirius Black himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone that’s figured out where this is going, have a free crumpet.  
> Remember, this is a parody of tropes, so I’m jam packing as many of those into this baby as I can


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how this chapter will be received, so I'll just say this: Remember everything I put in here is to set up jokes in the future.  
> Afterwards you can tell me if I at least made this chapter enjoyable

Harry sat numbly as he listened to Dumbledore explain how Sirius Black had actually been innocent all along. Of course that part wasn’t news to Harry, but the rest-

Scabbers was Peter Pettigrew all along?

Lily had framed Sirius to hide some terrible secret?

Sirius Black was an Animagus?

Was he that black dog that Harry had taken into the castle?

‘This is better than the telenovelas that Miss Jacobs watched back at the orphanage’, said Voldemort, sounding rather amused.

“I don’t understand. What secret could have made her frame another person to a life in prison, just so they would never tell anybody?”, asked Harry, though he had to raise his voice slightly since James was still crying loudly, no matter how much Remus tried to sooth him.

Dumbledore looked sadly at Harry, “It is with great sadness that I must tell you Harry that James here isn’t your real father.”

‘Can’t say I’m too surprised by that.’

“But instead it’s Voldemort himself.”

‘ _What_?!’

“ _What_?!”, Harry exclaimed.

‘I take it back, this is worse than the telenovela! Change the channel! Change it!’

Spot howled and Harry wasn’t sure if he would be able to hold him back, but then suddenly Jimmy was hugging Harry and sobbing his eyes out and Harry had to do all he could to clamp down on his desire to tear apart the whole place.

“I’m sorry kids, but I caught her doing DNA testing on you both when you were barely born and confronted her until she spilled her story. She made me promise to never tell anybody, but I was still looking for a way to tell James and I guess she must’ve known and used this whole misunderstanding as a way to ensure my silence”, said Black, looking a little sorry that he had upturned Harry’s whole life.

After Jimmy had cried as much as he could McGonagall offered to take them to the infirmary so they could spend the night there since they probably wouldn’t want to talk with anybody about what had happened.

As soon as Harry was lying on his bed in the infirmary and Jimmy was asleep on the bed besides his Harry asked Voldemort, ‘Is it all true?’

‘I mean. Maybe? I certainly remember a redhead, but she had no martini glass in her hand so I can’t be sure.’

Harry sighed, ‘What now?’

Voldemort didn’t answer him.

The next day the whole sordid deal was on the Daily Prophet’s cover. Jimmy cried when he saw it and Harry simply skipped the story and read about the weather.

At lunch time Professor Snape came to join them and tell Harry and Jimmy that their friends were there to see them.

“Sure”, Harry nodded since Jimmy was pretty much nonresponsive, “But Sir, if I may ask, what happened with-with Lily?”

Professor Snape grimaced, “She has fled the country. Aurors are looking for her as we speak.”

Harry nodded.

Their friends rushed in as soon as Professor Snape left. None of them really mentioned the elephant in the room, being mostly sympathetic to their plight. Well, more like Jimmy’s plight. He just couldn’t seem to be able to calm down at all even as all his Gryffindor friends tried to sooth him.

“And you’re not even processing it at all”, said Draco as he changed his broom from his right hand to his left hand.

Harry shrugged, “I mean, I never really got used to James Potter being my father, so, eh.”

All their friends turned to look at Harry.

“Wait, what?”

* * *

Harry was at his third lesson of that week on ‘how to act like a normal human being’ with Professor Snape and it was only Tuesday. This all was a direct result of Draco yet again going to Professor Snape to snitch on Harry doing something or other. This time it was because Harry had cracked a joke about being previous Dark Lord’s son and would generally just laugh at the whole thing instead of addressing it.

Voldemort even approved and laughed along at some of the jokes Harry made.

“Potter, do I need to stage another intervention?”, asked Professor Snape exasperatedly.

“S’not my fault nobody appreciate my sense of humour”, mumbled Harry.

Professor Snape sighed, “Think about what you jokes are doing to your brother, what do you think he’s thinking of you now?”

Harry shrugged and wondered if he should go check again if some Dementor didn’t get left behind by the Ministry.

“Potter!”

“I don’ wanna be Potter no more”, whined Harry as he draped himself over his desk, “S’ stupid last name anyways.”

“Po-Harry, would you listen to me if I call you Harry?”

Harry perked up, “Does the deal include crumpets?”

Professor Snape rolled his eyes, “Yes, yes, I’ll give you a few blasted crumpets.”

“Deal”, chirped Harry and sat up straight again, “Does this new ban include me not doing jokes about terrible French names? Or me joking about the Death Eaters needing to change their name to Crumpet Eaters cause that’s clearly a better name.”

Professor Snape’s face twitched, “Neither are allowed.”

Harry pouted, “Not even me changing my last name on exam papers to ‘Flight of the Crumpets’?”

“Harry.”

“Geddit? Cause Voldemort means flight of death?”

“ _Harry._ ”

“I have a ton more written down here, listen, this is a raunchy song I learned from one of my mates at London, except I change the word hooker for Death Eater-“

Before Harry could continue Professor Snape snatched the paper from Harry’s hand, balled it up and threw it into the trash.

“You know I can just conjure it back later?”, asked Harry idly, leaning on the desk and resting his cheek on his closed fist.

* * *

“Harry what are you doing here?”, asked Draco when he got into the Slytherin common room and saw Harry sitting in front of the fireplace writing a letter to presumably pester some magical creatures council or other.

“Professor kicked me out”, said Harry as he looked up from his parchment, “What other words can I use to express my utter disdain for the treatment of Dementors under the Ministry other than contempt and scorn?”

Draco sighed, let his beloved Firebolt rest against the other armchairs in front of the fireplace and sat down to join Harry.

“Harry you’ve already gotten a seize and desist letter from the Ministry to stop harassing them with letters”, Draco explained in the most even voice he could muster.

“This one is for the Quibbler, Luna’s dad is the editor and has agreed to run a story on it”, explained Harry.

Draco’s first impulse was to curse the Lovegood girl’s name, but since she was helping to channel Harry’s unhealthy obsession with Dementors rights into a direction that was neither illegal nor endangering to Harry, he relented.

“What about disrelish?”, Draco proposed instead.

Harry seemed to think about it as his left eye twitched, “Sounds good, I’ll use it.”

They sat in peace and quiet for a while, for which Draco was thankful for. When the whole truth about Harry and Jimmy’s parentage had come out most people had collectively lost their heads and started to make life difficult for the twins.

Fortunately – or unfortunately, depending from what side you were viewing this – Harry had found the whole thing hilarious and would joke about it nonstop. This all led to people quickly realizing that Harry was still the same old crazy Harry and not evil incarnate. The Weasley twins had especially taken to Harry’s raunchy song about Death Eaters – one which Draco hoped to Merlin, Morgana and Salazar that his father never found out about. It was bad enough that he had to sit in fear for the day where Severus finally found out about the song, but Draco’s father discovering this would be so much worse.

Never mind that now Draco’s father approved of him befriending ‘the crazy Potter’ – Draco’s father words, not his own – it would all fall apart the second he heard the first part of the song.

The next week Harry’s letter to the Ministry was published in the Quibbler along with a complimentary note that contained the aforementioned raunchy song’s lyrics.

* * *

“You will both be happy to learn that Augusta Longbottom has accepted to host you during these summer holidays”, explained Professor Snape as both he and Professor McGonagall were sitting in front of Harry and Jimmy.

‘Quick, fake that you’re having some sort of fit! If we’re convincing enough they’ll let us stay at the infirmary where we’ll be able to escape.’

Harry was seriously considering this, but he saw Professor Snape’s sharp gaze on him and didn’t think he could do a convincing act with him watching him like a hawk like he was now.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad? Jimmy wasn’t saying anything so she probably wasn’t as bad as her giant dead vulture hat implied. But then again, Jimmy had hardly said a word since they heard that James Potter had given up custody of them.

When Harry told Neville the news a few hours later the other boy winced.

“Look, she’s my grandma and I love her and everything, but she’s pants at children. Did I ever tell you about the day that Uncle Algie almost threw me off the roof? Dad came just in time to stop him, but he was livid. Also, you should know that Jimmy didn’t say his first word until he was with the Potters for over a month after they got out of their coma.”

“Fuck”, said Harry and Neville patted him in sympathy.

Later that night as Harry was having trouble with sleeping Voldemort said, ‘You know desperate times call for desperate measures.’

“I’m not faking my death”, Harry mumbled.

‘That would be a terrible plan. Now listen, I need you to go find Ravenclaw’s Diadem for me.’

“I don’t wanna find Ravenclaw’s Diadem”, Harry moaned and turned in his bed.

‘Listen to me this will save us both from Augusta Longbottom’s terrible hat! Do you want to see that awful hat every day during the summer Harry? Do you?’

“Noooooo, anything but the hat! It’s too ugly”, groaned Harry.

“Draco kick Harry till he can get out of his fashion nightmare!”, called Blaise.

A second later Harry felt Draco kick him in the shin.

The next morning Harry gave Draco the stink eye as he went about his business and had half a mind of kicking him back. Unfortunately he was on a rushed timetable and had to run to some secret room that only sometimes was there to find some ancient jewellery.

“Looks a bit tacky, doesn’t it?”, asked Harry as he took one last look at the diadem before he shoved it into his bag.

‘That thing is a priceless antiquity! It also has a piece of my soul, so you better watch it!’

Harry groaned, “Let me guess, your master plan is to mesh with the piece soul trapped in this thing. And then what? What you need is a body, not more pieces of soul.”

‘Shut it, I’m working on it. Now skedaddle, it’s almost time for your class.’

Harry rolled his eyes but obeyed.

* * *

Harry stared at the stuffed dead antelope head. He turned to the right and saw a whole stuffed dead bear. He turned to his left and saw dead stuffed lion biting a dead stuffed eagle.

“Okay, I’m out”, he said and went to grab Jimmy from where he was trying to integrate with the wallpaper.

It said something about Augusta Longbottom and her child rearing abilities that both Harry and Jimmy walked out in the middle of the same day that they’d arrived at her home and she didn’t even realize it.

‘Okay, so the first place is near the orphanage where I grew up in.’

“Hmm”, hummed Harry as he counted his Muggle money and made sure it was enough to buy him and Jimmy a bus ticket to get close to where they were going.

* * *

“Hmm”, hummed Harry as he and Jimmy sat on the bus and Harry peered at the map he’d nicked from the station.

“Harry”, Jimmy hesitated, “Where are we going?”

“To a cave, apparently it’s in this area. Dunno, will know when we get there.

“Are we going to live there now?”

‘Hope to Merlin that you won’t.’

‘Wait, what?’

‘Nothing. Here, open the map a bit more so I can see.’

Harry grumbled a bit but did as he was asked.

* * *

“Harry I’m not sure about this”, said Jimmy as they both scaled a cliff to get to the blasted cave.

“Well it either this or aparating and we both still got the Trace on so we’ll both just have to suck it up because _somebody_ didn’t tell me I needed to get a bloody rope before this!”

‘I was able to scale this cliff when I was eight years old! And back in my day they whipped and starved the children at orphanages! I was skin and bones, but then again children in my time were resilient, not like today’s hooligans!’

‘Back in your day, back in your day they’d barely invented the wheel old man!’

‘Take that back!’

* * *

“Harry I don’t like this place”, said Jimmy while Harry was digging in his pockets to get out one of his knives to cut himself up so he could get in.

“I don’t like it either Jimmy, but I bet it would be a whole lot better if _somebody_ had told me to bring a fucking lamp!”

‘In my day we got down here without any damn ropes or lamps!’

‘Merlin your childhood sucked’, groused Harry.

‘Eh, it wasn’t that bad.’

‘You were literally just telling me how they whipped you at the orphanage!’

‘Well, yes, but they whipped all of us equally, so it was always a nice networking exercise. Oh they whipped you? Well me too, what a coincidence. Now give me your lunch.’

‘Merlin’, was all Harry could think.

* * *

“Harry I don’t think this is a good plan”, said Jimmy as they sailed over the lake in a boat that had to be dragged out from the bottom of the lake by a chain.

“It’s not that bad, but it could have been better if _somebody_ would have told me I needed to stick my hand into a bowl of Merlin fucking poison!”, Harry got progressively louder the longer he went on.

‘Look, it’s either that or you could always drink it yourself. I would suggest making Jimmy drink it, but I’m not sure you’d appreciate that.’

‘What happens if somebody drinks it?’

‘Er.’

‘Vol?’

‘Look, just stick your hand in it, sure it’ll burn off all your skin – and that’s if you’re lucky – but the alternative isn’t better. At all.’

Harry looked at the bowl and suddenly had a brilliant idea.

“Jimmy take cover!”, ordered Harry as he pointed at one of the bigger rocks on the island, “And close your eyes and cover your ears!”

Jimmy went and did as Harry had asked. As soon as Harry was sure Jimmy was as protected as he could be he let out Spot, who knocked over the bowl and then went back to Harry.

Harry covered his hands in a handkerchief and lifted the locket.

“Hey! I got it!”, said Harry happily, “Jimmy you can come out! We’re leaving!”

Voldemort was silent as they exited the cave.

‘Hey, you upset your stupid cave isn’t that awesome?’

‘That bowl shouldn’t have fallen off so easily’, mumbled Voldemort petulantly.

Harry snickered silently, but still got a weird look from Jimmy.

‘Where next?’

* * *

The next place turned out to be a desolate shack in the middle of nowhere. Worst still, Voldemort insisted that they could go stay at the abandoned mansion at the other edge of town.

‘I’m not living in an abandoned place, mansion or otherwise’, groused Harry as he went to sit on the steps of the shack they’d just left.

“Harry I don’t like this place either”, said Jimmy.

“Yeah, me neither Jimmy. Don’t worry, I’ll get us a nicer place soon.”

‘That mansion is perfectly serviceable’, muttered Voldemort.

Harry ignored him as he pulled out the locket they’d gotten the day before and put the ring at its side in the handkerchief.

‘Something is wrong’, said Voldemort, ‘Try open the locket, quick!’

Harry complied and opened the locket.

When Voldemort read the note inside he got so unbelievably angry and shouted so loudly that Harry dropped both items to clutch at his head and try to hold back Spot.

“Harry! Are you okay?”, asked Jimmy and came immediately to Harry’s side.

Harry winced as he uncurled from himself and quickly picked up the stuff that had fallen, “Yeah, just a migraine. Let’s get out of here”, he quickly stood up and ignored Voldemort as he screamed profanities.

“Where to now?”

Harry put his hands in his pockets and felt in one pocket the locket and ring and in the other his and Jimmy’s shrunk trunks. Milly had been left to Draco to care for the summer since Harry hadn’t wanted her to get hurt or something at August Longbottom’s house and Hedwig could take care of herself.

“What about going to the Weasleys? Neville’s always telling how awesome they are”, proposed Harry.

Jimmy seemed to sag in relief, “That sounds wonderful Harry.”

Since Harry no longer cared about hiding he took out his wand and called for the Knight Bus. Both he and Jimmy covered their faces as best they could before the time so they didn’t get any attention when they took their seat on the bus.

When Harry knocked the door at the Weasley home door and Mrs. Weasley opened it she screamed in surprised and proceeded to hug them both tightly.

“We’ve all been so worried! You disappeared from Augusta’s home almost as soon as you arrived and she only noticed last night! The Aurors are looking all over the place for you! Oh thank Merlin you’re fine! Are you hungry? Here let me give you some lunch!”

Harry enjoyed deeply his first proper meal since he left Hogwarts. Mrs. Weasley prattled on while all her children slowly trickled into the kitchen and were all overjoyed to find Harry and Jimmy there.

Voldemort was silent throughout the whole afternoon as he sulked about his stolen Horcrux.

When Mr. Weasley got back from his work he brought with him a bunch of Aurors.

The Aurors made sure they were both safe and sound and told them off for running away like that.

“By the way”, said Auror Shacklebolt and took out a picture from his robe pocket, “We think we may have spotted your mother, could you tell me if it’s her in this picture?”

Jimmy and Harry took a look.

“Doesn’t look like her, she’s not holding a martini”, said Harry.

Auror Shacklebolt nodded, “I see, well, thank you anyways for your help.”

Next came Frank Longbottom, Neville’s dad, to apologize.

“You have no idea how sorry I am about what happened. We should all have done a better job”, said Frank, “But don’t worry, we’ve talked it out with the Weasley so you can stay here as long as you wish.”

Both Harry and Jimmy took a sigh of relief at that.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment before you leave, they give me life.  
> Also, I'm writing as fast as I can, which leaves me with little to no time to edit and reread this, so if you spot any errors please tell me.


End file.
